


Freecs Adventure Travel Co.

by sub_divided



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Actually it's my meta-commentary on all the other reunion fics, Also I wanted more focus on Gon Alluka and Killua all together, And Killua has two hands, Because Alluka has her own trauma to work through, Because I think they're too angsty, Gen, Hiking, M/M, Mentions of working through trauma, Reunion Fic, Slow Burn, So far I add another chapter whenever I go on vacation so this will be slow to update ahaha, but we'll get there eventually (maybe), like i don't have a plan for this slow burn, like really slow burn, mentions of past trauma, outdoor activities
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2020-09-06 01:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20283448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sub_divided/pseuds/sub_divided
Summary: It started with an email to Gon’s work inbox. Next to the others from young businessmen, old businessmen wanting to stay young, and couples on holiday, this one somehow stood out. It asked for Gon’s expertise in planning a trip for two people in their mid-teens, a girl and a guy whose relationship was described only as “not romantic”. In the "Experience with extreme physical activities?” field, the girl’s level was listed as "Beginner, but willing to try anything :)" while the guy’s said, simply, "Don't worry about it."Gon grinned - that probably meant the guy was an expert but too modest to say so. That, or he was trying to accommodate his traveling buddy. Gon scrolled down to the bottom of the email and paused, staring, for a long moment.***Three years after Gon, Killua and Alluka parted ways at the World Tree, Gon is running an adventure travel company, planning elaborate custom trips for his mostly bored and wealthy clientele who want to experience something dangerous (but not too dangerous). One day, he receives an email in his work inbox that's slightly different from all the others...





	1. Hiking

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to the folks on the Killugon zine for helping me to edit this, even though it uh wasn't what you were looking for ^^;;. Thanks to @glittercracker, @fireolin, @losing_sanity_fast and @autumnpen! You guys rock!

It started with an email to Gon’s work inbox. Next to the others from young businessmen, old businessmen wanting to stay young, and couples on holiday, this one somehow stood out. It asked for Gon’s expertise in planning a trip for two people in their mid-teens, a girl and a guy whose relationship was described only as “not romantic”. In the "Experience with extreme physical activities?” field, the girl’s level was listed as "Beginner, but willing to try anything :)" while the guy’s said, simply, "Don't worry about it." 

Gon grinned - that probably meant the guy was an expert but too modest to say so. That, or he was trying to accommodate his traveling buddy. Gon scrolled down to the bottom of the email and paused, staring, for a long moment. 

His emotions weren’t easy to put into words - gratitude, relief, and an overwhelming sense of love and pride were there. He also felt a bit of fear that he’d somehow manage to screw it all up, _again_. 

What had Satotz said? You can feel that you don’t deserve something, and reject it. But the better thing to do is to accept that you have been given a great chance - a second chance - and work hard to prove to yourself and others that it wasn’t a mistake. 

After a bit of thought, he wrote this reply:

“Hey, you two sound like tons of fun so I'll be happy to take you out! I have another idea for what we can do though, do you trust me?”

The answer, within 30 seconds:

“Sure dude let's do it.”

Great.

Gon forwarded his list of recommended equipment, a meeting date and time. Then he started planning. He wasn’t going to let this chance go without knowing that he’d given it his very best. 

***

When they met up, Alluka wanted to know why she’d been asked to wear stockings in the height of summer, cutely complaining that she was hot. She was, if anything, even more adorable and outgoing than Gon remembered from the last time they’d all met in person at the World Tree. 

Gon tried to play it cool. “You’ll see,” was all he would say. He turned to her travelling companion... who of course, was Killua, as Gon had hoped and suspected from the ambiguous way he’d ended his email. Killua stood easily, seemingly more relaxed and confident than he'd been when they'd parted. Of course, that could be an act, but Gon liked to think that he knew his best friend better than that.

While Gon had been almost certain that Killua and Alluka would be coming, he hadn’t tried to confirm it ahead of time; both because he figured Killua would have hidden his electronic trail better than that, and also because he hadn't wanted to face the crushing disappointment he would have felt if it had been anyone else.

Killua had brought extra water, which he explained was for Alluka’s medical regimen and to prevent altitude sickness. They were only about 10,000 feet up at the moment, but Gon was planning to take them much higher. 

However, he hadn’t specified this in their email exchange. 

“How did you know?” he asked, frowning. 

“C’mon, sunglasses and stockings? That’s way too obvious - we’re going up where there’s snow on the mountains,” Killua told him. Gon pouted - he’d really wanted the trip today to be a surprise - but, after all, that was Killua for you. Sharp as ever. At least he didn’t seem to know which mountain they were headed for, so Gon still had the element of surprise there. 

“Okay then, we’re getting back in the car, and I’ll take us to the bottom of the trail,” he told them. He and Alluka went in for a high five, then he turned to Killua to do the same. 

Killua, however, grabbed his hand and pulled him into a tight hug. He held on fiercely and after a moment, Gon did the same. The sense of gratitude, of forgiveness and belonging that he felt was almost overwhelming. He felt himself starting to tear up and it took all his self control not to cry. He'd missed Killua so much, even though they talked nearly every day.

“We’re not doing it that way,” Killua said, voice rough. 

***

The trail was steep, and Alluka was, as Gon had feared, having a hard time. However, they took a lot of breaks, which made it easier on her. The thin air and need to take it slow to avoid altitude sickness were the perfect excuse to stop frequently, without making her feel singled out or guilty for slowing them down. 

As they walked, Gon and Killua chatted - small talk mostly. Killua elaborated on a few stories he’d shared with Gon over the years about his journeys with Alluka, adding details he hadn’t felt like going into over Q (as truthfully, neither he nor Gon were good with online communication). Gon talked about his business of the last two years, an adventure travel company where he arranged a sense of danger - but not too much danger - for his mostly bored and wealthy clientele. 

“I thought for a long time about what I wanted to do,” he told Killua. “What I could do, what I was good at... how I could use my Hunter’s license... and this idea came to me one day when I was showing the tourists around Whale Island, you remember when I told you about that?”

“Yeah,” Killua said. “The maniacs.”

“Yeah exactly... well I used to think of those as being like dates, but eventually I realized it would make more sense to turn it into a business. And since I advertise that I’m a Hunter, people expect something really special and I have a lot of leeway for planning... I really enjoy it honestly.” 

“I’m glad you figured out what to do,” Killua told him. “And I’m especially glad that you did it on your own, without needing me to tell you.” The words were harsh, but the tone was light and he lightly punched Gon on the arm as he said it. 

“Hey!” Gon said, but there wasn’t much heat to it. Killua was joking but he was also telling the truth, Gon had been a bit too reliant on Killua back then. Still, he didn’t regret anything that had happened - along with the bad, there had been SO much good and he’d learned and grown a lot in that year and a half. And maybe the same was true for Killua too? They’d supported each other so much - even, in a dark way, at the end. 

“How can you guys... have the breath... to talk so much,” Alluka complained. She stopped again and crouched by the side of the trail, taking deep breaths. Gon laughed and obligingly crouched next to her, pointing out which mushrooms were OK to eat. He talked a lot so that Alluka didn’t feel the need to respond, and could focus on recovering her breath. In fact she was in pretty good shape, but the thin air was a separate issue from her overall fitness level. Out of the corner of his eye, Gon noticed Killua watching with an evaluating expression. 

They continued down the trail, only to encounter a rock scramble. Alluka groaned. 

***

The scramble was the hardest part of the hike, but thankfully it was also the final part. After a short struggle, they reached the top of a short incline and the end of the path through the forest. In front, the path wound down to a deep green lake that glittered in the sunlight. High, forested mountains framed the view and to one side a pure white snowpatch came down dramatically from a steep gorge to just above the water. 

Killua had been anticipating something great, but the scenery was so beautiful that he was blown away.

This was exactly why he'd trusted Gon to plan this trip. From his one, not entirely happy experience with Gon’s “date” with Palm he knew that Gon put a lot of thought into his plans. 

Looking off to the side, he noticed that Alluka was tearing up. Her lips were trembling and she looked almost distraught, far more emotionally overwhelmed than the view (gorgeous as it was) really called for. As he watched, a single tear escaped her eyes to roll down her cheek; but she quickly wiped it away.

Killua started getting agitated. Everything was going so well, what had happened? Should he say something? What should he say?

An arm came down around him, "Hey, let's take a photo!" 

Gon leaned in close, seeming to offer his support without words. It was different from how they’d been in the past but not unwelcome; Killua smiled reflexively at the close contact. He was distracted, though, by his worries about Alluka. What was wrong with her? He'd think about Gon later; he had to protect Alluka first.

But when he looked back at his sister, she seemed fine and gave him a big, reassuring grin. 

"Let's get closer, it's so pretty!" she said.

"Yeah!!"

Killua was still worried... He couldn't understand why Alluka had been so upset and it didn't seem right that she'd recovered so quickly. Something must still be wrong. However, with Gon there he decided to put a pin in those thoughts for later. Maybe later on, when they were alone, he would ask Alluka what had happened.

***

They took a bunch of photos by the lake, and it was a lot of fun. Gon was happy to see Killua and Alluka enjoying themselves again. He’d been right to pick this spot - hopefully the first good spot of many? He knew it was presumptuous but he was hoping to make this a regular thing. Maybe if he made a good enough impression that could happen. He knew Killua had his own ideas but Gon didn't want this to be just a _one day thing_. He wanted them to stay together...

He couldn't wait to show them his _favorite_ thing about this hike.

“If you guys are ready, we're going up to the glacier,” he told them. “The view is better from the top.”

Better than this??? Alluka’s expression seemed to say. Killua only put his hands behind his head and whistled. Gon nodded to answer both of them. 

“Yup,” he said. “Even better!” 

***

They took their time around the lake, the trail was still steep but the views made up for it. A few other tourists passed them on the way down but it was surprisingly deserted for such a beautiful, and easily accessible, spot. Eventually they reached the bottom of the gorge just below the glacier.

The view from above the lake was spectacular - they could see its entire curve and even taller peaks in the distance, beyond the green mountains. The view presented several layers, first the slope they’d come up, then the water sparkling in the sunlight, then the trees on the shoreline, then the mountains, then the peaks. This was one of Gon’s favorite views, and easily the best view accessible to a beginner. 

Alluka seemed overwhelmed again, even beyond the usual reaction one could expect. Her emotional reaction was affecting Killua, Gon could tell that his old friend was worried about her. However, it didn't seem to be a bad thing to Gon.

Many of Gon's hobbies required patience - quite extreme patience actually - and this situation seemed to call for it as well. Gon busied himself with their pack and their camera. If Alluka wanted to explain her reaction then she would. 

***

Killua was freaking out, but trying not to show it. He knew that if he freaked out, that would only make Alluka feel worse. She’d feel she had to reassure him, when really it was _his_ job to reassure _her_. She caught his eye and he smiled for her bravely. After years of travelling together, every day it was harder for him to fool her. But her gaze softened. 

"Don't worry..." She said eventually. She looked calmer, freer, and more at peace. "It's nothing you need to worry about... It's just beautiful."

Killua was unconvinced, but he kept smiling. Gon gave him what he guessed was meant to be a reassuring smile, then turned to Alluka. "Yeah, it is," he told her. "Almost as beautiful as you!"

Alluka laughed, Killua made a face. In any case the feeling of something being wrong had passed. Although the mood no longer felt dangerous to Killua, Alluka still looked very intense and was gazing out across the lake again.

"It's funny," she said. "The view is so different... I mean, it's not the same at all. I don't know why I was reminded... But maybe the feeling is the same?"

"Maybe because it’s peaceful?" Gon contributed. He seemed in his own way to be trying to get Allua to open up. "It looks like a fairytale..."

"Exactly!!" Alluka said. She was teary again. "It looks just like... I had this painting, in my room, you know, back home."

In her prison, Killua knew she meant. He’d told Gon about Alluka’s life at the Zoldyck estate in a Q message years ago. Gon nodded seriously. 

"It wasn't a painting of the mountains... It was a painting of the woods at night, there was a little cabin on a lake. I used to stare at it for hours, there were so many details you could just get lost. I used to pretend that I lived somewhere else.... that I lived in that cabin... looking at it made me feel... so peaceful..."

She started to cry. Killua, brother of the year that he was, felt himself tearing up too. Shit, he was going to cry in front of Gon. Whom he hadn’t seen in three years. What a loser he was. 

With a cry, Gon swept in and embraced both of them.

They sat by the lake, and they all cried together.

***

Afterward, not just Alluka but also Killua felt lighter. It was as if all the burdens he’d been carrying, the unspoken traumas, had somehow come out and been addressed even though no one had said anything. Killua didn’t quite trust this feeling, but whatever it was, Gon seemed to share it too. Gon also seemed happier, maybe all they’d needed this whole time was to cry and embrace? What a weird thought... 

“Gon...” - he had to force the words out, but he meant them and he wanted Gon to hear them - “....I’m glad we did this. Together. This has been great.”

“Yeah,” Gon said. “Me too. I’m glad you gave me this chance. I promise I won’t let you down again.”

What could Killua even say to that??? That was way too much… **Gon** was way too much sometimes… everything was way too much all the time... He’d been calm but now he was emotional again, wonderful. He’d forgotten this feeling of being on an emotional rollercoster ride. He knew that this wasn’t just Gon though, this was also him as well. He’d be fine, he just needed to wait this feeling out, and not freak anyone else out with it. 

Gon gave him a knowing smile. Was it knowing??? Did he know how Killua felt right now????

"Oh, it’s not over,” Gon said. “We're going up to the top!" 

"To the top of the glacier?"

"Yeah! Alluka wore the stockings, right? I have some equipment stashed up there we can use. We’re going skiing! That is, if you guys aren’t too tired.”

The absolute horror Killua felt at the idea of his baby sister skiing down that steep slope with those sharp rocks at the bottom grounded him. “**Gon**, “ he said. “My sister is amazing, but she’s not a skiier. We’re not doing this.”

“Sounds like fun!” Alluka interrupted. Her eyes were sparkling. After they’d all finished crying she’d not only been relieved, but had rebounded with three times the energy. “Killua is right though... I’ve never been skiing... you’ll teach me, right Gon?”

“Absolutely not,” Killua told her. “You should learn on a real ski slope, not out in the wilderness. It’s too dangerous.”

***

“It only looks dangerous,” Gon told him. “Trust me, I’ve taken a few people here. As long as you stay on the flat part of the glacier and away from the slope at the bottom, it’s fine.”

“And if you don’t stay away from the slope?”

“That’s why it’s fun,” Gon said. “Besides, I won’t let that happen... but if you aren’t feeling confident, I also brought a sled and some snowboards. We can just sled that little hill over there as a group.” He pointed - there was, indeed, a small hill at the bottom of the glacier with some snow on it. 

“That’s lame...” Alluka said. Gon agreed, but he was good at his job, and one of the things that made him good was that he always had a backup plan so that ALL his clients could do something that felt comfortable - but still daring - for them, no matter their level of experience. Sledding would be a bit of a let down, but it would still be fun. He knew Killua was very protective of Alluka, so honestly he hadn’t expected him to be thrilled with the idea of letting his baby sister ski down the side of a glacier. Still, he’d felt he had to try. It would be good, not only for Alluka but also for Killua, for them to do this together. Gon had often thought, from the short things Killua said on Q, that he was a bit too overprotective of Alluka.

However, he wasn’t going to force the issue. Either Killua would trust him with this now, or he’d wait for another chance to prove himself. Ultimately, he needed Killua to trust him if they were going to have any chance at getting back even a small part of what they’d had before. 

And Gon wanted more than what they'd had before...

“Gon...” Killua said, softly. “...do you really promise? That it’ll be okay?”

Gon, surprised, nodded. He had a plan to make this safe for Alluka. 

“...Okay,” Killua said. “Okay. I trust you.”

***

They eventually decided that Alluka would use the snowboard; Killua and Gon would be on skis. The snowboard was much harder for a beginner to pick up, but it would also be safer since Alluka would be moving slower, and closer to the ground if she had to bail out. They practiced for a bit on the small patch of snow at the bottom of the glacier, until Alluka announced that she was ready to try the slope. Killua was proud to note that his baby sister picked up the board quickly. She was a Zoldyck, after all. 

They made their way to the top of the glacier, Killua carrying the board and their poles under one arm and Gon with the skis strapped to his back. This hike was tougher than the hike to the lake had been, especially in heavy ski boots, so they needed to stop frequently, which unfortunately gave Killua plenty of time to think. 

And so, as they neared the top, Killua began to have second thoughts. Of course he trusted Gon with his life, because he knew that in any kind of situation, he’d be able to take care of himself and Gon would also prioritize Killua’s life over his own. He hadn’t seen Gon in a while, but that was just who Gon was as a person and he didn’t think that would have changed. 

But did he trust Gon with _Alluka’s_ life? This was a very important question for Killua. Ultimately, Alluka needed to be as safe with Gon as she was with Killua. Otherwise, they would both have to bail out now, before Killua found himself caught up in Gon’s pace again. 

He bit his lip. This trip had gone so well, honestly better than Killua had let himself hope when he'd decided, on a whim, to reach out. Gon was great for Alluka... and Killua. _Gon_ was great, period. 

This was getting very dangerous though - for Alluka and _for Killua_. Killua resolved that no matter the outcome, they’d be moving on after this. He’d worked so hard to create a life for the two of them, and as much as he still felt strongly about Gon, even after all these years, Alluka had to come first. 

_You’re just a coward_, he thought, but he pushed that thought down. He’d survived this far by doing what needed to be done, regardless of how he personally felt about it. It was too easy, with Gon - reliable, accepting, too-observant Gon - to let his guard down. 

They reached the top of the glacier and threw down their equipment. Killua’s thoughts were still racing, but he put on a brave face. “I’ll see you guys at the bottom,” he said, and swiftly strapped the skis to his boots. Then he was off, away from Gon and his treacherous thoughts. The trip down was short but exhilarating, with spectacular views. He stopped neatly just before the ridge - without being able to see over the side, the glacier seemed to end in nothingness, as if he could launch himself off the side of the mountain and go, soaring, straight into the lake below. Though more likely, straight into the rocks below. Why had he agreed to his? 

Whatever, there was nothing he could do about it now. Putting on a casual grin, he gave a wave and a thumbs up to Gon and Alluka at the top of the glacier. They waved back, tiny in the distance. Gon seemed to say something encouraging to Alluka. Killua noted with a sinking feeling that while he’d been skiing, they’d both already strapped on their gear. 

Alluka pushed off. She was beautiful against the side of the mountain, cutting back and forth as if she’d been snowboarding for years, not just since this morning. Killua was worried but he still felt his heart swell with pride. That was _his_ beautiful, capable, fearless sister. Above, Gon let out a whoop and followed. 

All was fine until Alluka reached the ridge. She turned neatly to stop, just as they’d practiced, but she’d found a patch of ice under the snow and continued sliding sideways. Killua watched, feeling time slow to a stop. She went over the side of the mountain. 

He started to move. In that long frozen moment, he felt himself going electric in the thin mountain air but the skis kept him grounded. On land, Killua could move as quickly as a thought but here, he had to rely on gravity to carry him down or else waste precious fractions of a second unlacing his boots. He wouldn’t be fast enough. Killua felt his heart sinking, and opened his mouth to shout the command - 

Gon flew past beside him. He’d been skiing down already and had built up momentum far greater than Killua’s. He also disappeared over the ridge.

“We’re good!” he called. “I got her!”

“Yeah, brother, I’m fine!” Alluka called out. She didn’t even seem particularly scared. “Gon grabbed me and we’re both OK!” 

Killua followed them over the ridge. It was an optical illusion - the glacier looked like it ended in nothingness, but actually the slope was just a bit steeper on the other side. Gon and Alluka were sitting on their butts about halfway down, grinning, nowhere near the edge of the ice. Killua let out a breath. He’d been seconds away from commanding Nanika to transport Alluka to safety, but he hated calling on her power like that. This was far better. 

He realized that Gon had been right - Alluka had never been in danger. 

“You dummies!” he called. “Don’t scare me like that!”

“A little bit of danger makes it fun,” Gon told him. “Or the illusion of a little bit of danger...ow! Killua!”

“You deserved to be hit,” Killua told him. “Dummy.” He stuck out his tongue, Gon stuck his own tongue back in response. Alluka started to giggle. 

“You guys are perfect for each other,” she said. 

***

On the hike down, Gon asked them if they’d be able to stay another day - there was another hike in the area he thought would be perfect for them. Killua pretended to think about it, but in fact he’d already made up his mind. He said yes. 

***

**To:** freecsadventuretravel@rocketco.com  
**From:** kaz@blue.net  
**Subject:** August trip 

Hey what’s up! We are looking for a day trip in August. Maybe somewhere by the water? Details up to you, but make it fun! 

GENERAL STUFF  
**Names:** Alice; Conrad  
**Ages:** 15; 16  
**Describe yourself in a few words:** We are travelling the world together  
**Relationship, if any?** Not romantic  
**Experience with extreme physical activity?** Beginner, but willing to try anything :); Don't worry about it  
**Describe your experiences in a few words:** Prefer not to say 

LEGAL AND SAFETY STUFF  
While Freecs Adventure Travel has an excellent reputation for safety, all activities involve some amount of risk, especially if you have not accurately represented yourself. **Any confessions to make?** I miss you  
**Any medical conditions?** None that will affect the trip  
**Emergency contact?** Gon Freecs


	2. Scuba!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Silent darkness so thick you could cut it. Blue hibiscus. A flock of yellow parakeets. A poisonous frog perched on a branch, waiting for him to pass. In the cove, the water glittered blue-green. Nothing on the beach but seaweed and a small line of huts, over the closest one “Scuba rentals” written in the Hunter language. _
> 
> Or, Gon hires Killua to help investigate an underwater shipwreck. Takes A LOT of inspiration from Lucia Berlin's short story Todo Luna, Todo Ano - please read the beginning of chapter note. Written for KilluGon Day (January 7th) on tumblr.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story takes a lot of inspiration from Lucia Berlin’s short story Todo Luna, Todo Ano[1], to the point of being almost a rip off? Hopefully more of an homage... some imagery, turns of phrase, even the basic structure is similar. I wrote down lines I liked, rewrote them (very) slightly, and built the story around that. Hopefully Lucia Berlin’s heirs don’t mind. It’s just for fun, I’m not making any money from this, and probably only 50 people will read it. 
> 
> (If you are one of the 50 people though - read Lucia Berlin!)

Silent darkness so thick you could cut it. Blue hibiscus. A flock of yellow parakeets. A poisonous frog perched on a branch, waiting for him to pass. In the cove, the water glittered blue-green. Nothing on the beach but seaweed and a small line of huts, over the closest one “Scuba rentals” written in the Hunter language. 

Killua was early, but not in the mood for company; the peaceful isolation of the hike through the jungle had cast a spell. He took off his shirt and pants, and left them by his pack on the beach. The water was clear, he could see straight through to the bottom where two fish shaped like needles darted (an unfortunate image). An underwater stone wall divided the cove from the ocean, which Gon later told him was there to protect the beach from sharks. 

He waded into the water, swam with strong strokes to the wall. Standing on it, the water reached just to his waist. He decided to walk along it. Above, the sky was a startling shade of blue. A school of small fish swirled around him like a tornado. 

A beautiful place, he thought. 

***

“There is a room you can use, diving students stay there sometimes.” The price to stay in one of the huts on the beach was absurdly low. Killua paid it without haggling. His mind was on his phone’s display screen, his own location and the agreed upon meeting place glowing like twin stars there, stationary. By sundown tonight, Gon’s light would be moving like a homing beacon towards him. The display seemed too small, too ordinary for what it would signify. 

***

“Can I help with dinner?” Alluka asked. 

Monkfish, swordfish, tuna, lobster, a bag of clams. A dozen men stood on the Whale Island docks, unloading their diving gear from the boat, talking and laughing. Gon alone among them had no gear at all. 

“Sure!” he said. “Decide what you want, they’ll cook it for you.” Alluka lit up with the possibility, not just that they’d be eating the day’s fresh catch, but that she could choose it. Even after years of traveling with Killua she still loved more than anything else to be given a choice. 

“No octopus,” Killua told her, “They wriggle. And they’re smart.”

“They don’t wriggle when you cook them, brother,” Alluka said. 

“No octopus,” Killua said firmly. “Anything else is OK.”

“Ok.” Alluka rarely questioned his decisions, which was a lot of responsibility for one person to hold over another. Killua was looking forward to the time, however short, when he would not have to make any choices whatsoever. When he could just be, and let others worry for a change. 

Alluka chose clams, which lit Gon up like a torchlight. He’d personally dived for the clams this morning. Gon made a place for them to sit in the fisherman’s tavern, introduced them to the other divers, who continued to eat. 

The men were talking about the Lord of the Lake. A Lord? No, it was a fish. No one had caught it for many years, but one of the fisherman thought he’d seen it, not in the lake but in the open waters of the ocean. They thought a storm had opened a channel from the lake to the ocean, and the Lord had finally escaped back to the open waters he’d come from. 

“Imagine if there’d been a storm like that before you took the Hunter Exam,” Killua said. “You’d still be on Whale Island.” 

“No… I would have thought of something,” Gon said. “Mito wouldn’t have made the challenge actually impossible.”

Killua, thinking of the nen box from Ging in the trash can, said nothing. 

“But I wouldn’t have met you,” Gon said. “We would have taken the exam at different times.” 

“Yeah, too bad you met me,” Killua joked. He was thinking of everything that had happened to Gon since they’d met. The world of darkness, Killua’s world, that had left Gon with a Hunter’s license he could no longer use the way he’d intended to. 

“No,” Gon said. 

“No?”

“No. I’m glad I met you. I don’t regret anything that happened. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Geeze, Gon,” Killua said. He shouldn’t have brought it up. 

What had Alluka’s therapist said? “Unconditional love reveals the conditions under which we were unloved in the past.” When we open a door that had been tightly closed before, oxygen rushes in, causing a burst of flame.[1]

***

In the present, Killua dozed off in his room in the hut. It was hot, the air was still, and the breeze from the beach didn’t reach inside. It wasn’t wholly pleasant, and he wondered if he shouldn’t have rented a room in the port, met Gon on the beach in the morning. He’d wanted to scope the place out first, an ingrained habit. It’s not that kind of job, he chided himself. This was a class F job, an easy job, a chance to make some money and spend time with a friend. Nothing dangerous, except for the usual unpredictability of the ocean. Gon’s expertise was what they needed here, not his. He’d never been scuba diving before. 

***

He learned, to his disappointment, that the expedition would require a team. 

“Are you sure it’s there?” Franko, the youngest, asked the group of six professional divers (and Killua). He’d taken the seat next to Gon in the war room of the hut, aka the kitchen. Without chairs, they’d all taken seats on the ground around a low table. Killua could see across the table, to the open door and the blue-green water outside. An early morning mist covered the sand. 

“It’s definitely there, I saw it when I took a customer down to the underwater vents,” Gon said. Gon had a business these days, he arranged a sense of danger (but not too much danger) for his wealthy clients. His business was called Freecs Adventure Travel Company and he advertised on his website that he was a licensed Hunter. His clients paid top dollar to have him as a guide on their outdoor adventures, and even more to be surprised and taken somewhere unexpected. 

Without nen, he couldn’t truly act as a Hunter, but his clients didn’t know that. Besides Gon was more than capable of handling anything in the natural world, short of another person with nen.

“I don’t get it,” Rand said, examining the map. “This site is only an hour off the shore, and it’s part of a well known reef system. Why haven’t wreckers been there before?”

“It’s dangerous,” Gon said. “The currents are strong, and it’s hard to see underwater. You can’t take a large ship with a lot of equipment, or else you’ll risk damaging the reef, which is protected.” He shared a grin with his crew. 

Like Gon, these were people who enjoyed a challenge. 

Killua thought it suited Gon to lead this expedition. He seemed comfortable, at ease with the divers. He’d told Killua once that he’d done free diving back on Whale Island, looking for clams and pearls at depths that most men would only attempt with an air tank. On this trip, they’d all wear tanks and equipment. 

Killua was less certain of his own role in this outing, though he’d agreed easily when Gon had invited him along. It sounded like fun, though too dangerous for Alluka, who was staying with Mito on Whale Island. Gon was paying a generous salary to the divers, with the promise that they’d split whatever they found in the shipwreck near the underwater vents, after the local government took its cut. In this country, wrecking was a major industry, after only eco-tourism. 

“What about him?” Raul said, nodding to Killua. “He’s not trained, is he staying on the boat?”

“I don’t mind,” Killua said. “Although I’d also like to learn to dive.”

“Killua can do anything,” Gon said, while Killua silently cursed and looked away. 

“But I thought we could teach him first.”

***

The other divers, amused, left Killua entirely to Gon. So they sat on the beach, wrestling with the heavy tanks and wetsuits. They’d step into the water, then put their flippers on when it was deep enough. 

“You don’t really need tanks for this dive,” Gon told him. “But it’s a good place to practice. There are a lot of interesting fish, they hide from sharks at the bottom of the wall. Baracuda still get in, though.” 

Killua nodded, he already had the mouthpiece in and was getting the feel for breathing through it. This exercise required trust, in the equipment, and in the instructor. It was a sign of how much their friendship had been repaired that he felt comfortable with Gon here. 

They waded out into the water and swam toward the wall, buoyant from the air tanks but clumsy at the surface. At the wall, they’d left the heavy weights that would pull them down to the bottom. Gon indicated for Killua to come closer, then attached the weights to his tank. He held Killua until Killua signaled his readiness, then let go. 

Killua let himself fall downwards, and the weight vanished, not just the tank’s but his own. He flippered, really using the fins for the first time. He felt powerful, like he was flying. Absolutely everything was new to Killua underwater, but not to Gon, who swam around him in happy circles. Show off. Grinning around the mouthpiece Killua spun around to follow his movements. The bubbles from Gon’s air tank rose like jellyfish to the surface; Killua put a hand to one, curious. It splintered into a thousand tiny jellies, with a tickling sensation like steam in a bathtub. 

They circled each other playfully, gradually spiraling to the bottom of the cove. At the wall, Gon stabbed a spike into the sand, testing. When a bubble appeared, he dug out a clam and put it into a bag. Killua followed with his own spear. There was nothing to it, really, with the air tank. They competed, working towards opposite ends of the wall. 

Suddenly he had no air, but remembering the reserve tank, pulled the cord. He made his way lazily to the surface, trusting Gon and the equipment. 

They surfaced. By the slant of the sunlight Killua realized they’d been down for less than an hour. He’d lost track of the time underwater. 

“What do you charge for lessons?” he asked Gon, curious. 

“I’m not charging you,” Gon said. 

“Isn’t this your business, though? You take people out diving and show them this.”

“Nah, I’m not a diving instructor. Anyone who wants to book a diving trip with me needs to be experienced, they need a certain number of hours. I let other people do that part. Where we’re going is a lot deeper than this.”

“What about me, I won’t have the hours?”

Gon just looked at him. “But you’re Killua.” 

Killua flung some water at him. “I’m not the expert here,” he said. “You are.”

“Well, in my expert opinion,” Gon said, his smile dazzling white above the water, “you’re Killua.”

***

They told diver’s stories. Giant oysters and pearls. Man-eating squid. The rookie diver and the poisonous jellyfish. The boat parted the waves before it, dolphinfish dove out of the way. Raul anchored an hour out from the shore, nothing in sight but fish and the reef, visible faintly about 30 feet below in the clear water. A deep dive? The water was shallow. 

“There’s an underwater cave,” Gon said, as if reading his mind. “This reef is built on top of a larger, older reef below it. This whole area is a crater, there are vents where the old volcano used to be. The wreck is in the center of the crater, it must have run aground on the rim, then slid down. Over time it’s been completely covered by coral.”

Coral grew slowly, Killua knew that. For a layer to form across a crater this size would take thousands of years. “How old is this wreck, anyway?”

“Not old. There’s something in the water here that accelerates the growth of plants and animals.” 

They decided the roles, who would stay with the boat, and who would descend to the bottom. It would be a complicated dive, because they wanted to avoid damaging the reef. The path to the bottom would twist like a maze in three dimensions, through the coral. Killua was impressed by the planning that had gone into this trip. He was happy to have been invited, though he felt he wouldn’t be much help next to the experienced dive team. 

***

Fins, masks, weights, tanks on. They sat in a circle on the rim of the boat. Franko and Rand went over the side first. They just fell backwards and disappeared. Then the rest of the team followed, in pairs, except for Raul who’d remain on the boat. Killua and Gon were last. The waves were high, rocking the boat enough that another, less hardy person might have gotten seasick. Killua of course, did not get sick. He caught Gon’s eye. Even with all the equipment, the mask and mouthpiece and tank, Gon looked excited. Of course. This was the kind of challenge he could still take on. Gon gave him a thumbs up, Killua saw the sky before he plunged into the water. 

***

The loss of time. Moving through layers of living history, lights and darks, different eons captured in the different strata of the coral reef. Near the bottom it was dark, but warm. The thermal vents. Something bioluminescent glowed on the walls all around them. Tiny, glowing shrimp. Killua caught one in his hand, like a firefly. He let it drift away through his fingers. 

He could just see the other divers in the corner of his eye, drifting in and out of the crevices. The water was murky; strong currents made it difficult to see or swim. At the bottom he lost sight of the others, of Gon. Spread out beyond each other’s field of view, cover the whole bottom of the crater before the air tanks run out. That was the plan. He’d have to trust the others, and himself. Suddenly he had a sense for how Gon had developed such an accepting heart, a openness to whatever came next. Down at the bottom of the ocean you were truly alone, and the space was so vast. All other concerns seemed insignificant by comparison. 

Swimming in a spiral, Killua spotted something. A piece of driftwood. Why not? He swam over to verify that it was nothing. He was looking at the prow of a boat, the empty eyes of the masthead gleamed back at him. Opal? He reached for the tool belt at his side, selected a crowbar. The entire masthead would be best, but it was buried in the sand. He fought down an irrational surge of guilt, the masthead was not alive. No one would miss the eyes. 

Getting them loose was a tricky job. An anglerfish came by, curious, to see what he was doing. But Killua hadn’t trained his whole life to be defeated by driftwood. The gems came out, he caught them before the current could take them away. 

His air ran out. He pulled the reserve cord but nothing happened. Don’t panic. Surface slow. Slow. But he was extremely agitated, to go back up through the maze of the coral was a big job with no air. He let the current carry him upward, the water would need to come out somewhere. He drifted slowly, pulling on the cord. No air. How long could he hold his breath? Probably not long enough. Killua put himself into a meditative mood, tried to slow his heart rate and breathing. He could only hope for the currents to surface him before his air ran out. 

He drifted out of his own search zone, suddenly Gon was there in front of him. Killua grabbed his mouthpiece away from him, put it into his own mouth. He gulped the air, greedily. Gon waited calmly until Killua was done, then put the mouthpiece back in his own mouth. He took Killua’s hand and they surfaced together, passing the air hose back and forth between them. 

They broke the surface. Air! They embraced, their regulators clanking. Killua realized he had truly, for a moment, been scared. What about Alluka? What would she have done if he’d died here? Gon lead the way toward the boat but Killua refused his help to board. 

He still had the opals in one hand. How fragile we humans are, he thought. It wasn’t a new thought, but it was the first time in a while he’d included himself in that category. 

***

No one said anything; at first Killua didn’t notice Rand was missing. They circled the crater. Gon, pale, dove without waiting for his tank to be refilled. Killua, remembering Whale Island, said nothing. How long could Gon hold his breath underwater? Much longer than Killua, that was for sure. 

Gon surfaced. The crew looked grim, they knew they’d have to give up. With the currents, Rand could be anywhere. 

Killua let his En expand outward. It was a risk, the bottom of the ocean was far away, out of his range. If Rand was dead, or drifting, there’d be nothing left to find. Even if he found Rand, what then? They didn’t have any spare air tanks. 

Nothing at first. Killua centered himself, slowed his breathing, and let his consciousness go another 10 feet. He lost track of himself on the boat, he was drifting in the water, like the shrimp. Was that it? A small presence, larger than a barracuda, lodged in a crevice below and to the starboard side of the boat. 

“I see him,” he told Gon. The divers crossed themselves, this was witchcraft. “He’s lodged in a vertical shaft, there’s a route we can take almost straight down through the coral, but we’ll have to break it to haul him through.”

“Let’s do it,” Gon said, already reaching for his gear. “Tell Raul when we’re directly above, if I triple the weight I’ll probably sink straight down to him without the currents getting in the way.”

“It’s too risky,” Killua said. “You can’t sense him. I need to go with you.”

It was a harsh thing to say but Gon didn’t flinch, there were bigger things at stake than his ego.

“No way,” he said. “The air tanks aren’t full yet. I’ll do it, I can hold my breath longer. You just put us in the right place.”

“We’re going together,” Killua said, reaching for his own gear. “I can help. I want to help.” 

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No! It’s my mission!”

“Yes, it’s my choice!” Killua said. “Don’t try this with me, Gon. I can knock you out and go alone if I have to.”

That was probably a step too far. Gon flashed, angry. Then he seemed to realize himself, to realize where they were. No one looked at them, but the way the other divers looked away spoke volumes. 

Gon, also, seemed to center himself. Killua knew, when he’d decided something there was no getting through to him. He did what he wanted, and dragged Killua along. Or did Killua let himself be dragged along? 

“No, you’re right, we’ll go together,” Gon said. “But… Alluka? You can’t risk everything, Killua. I don’t want that, and she needs you.”

“I know that, dummy.” Killua flashed him a grin. “This isn’t like that time, in East Gorteau. It isn’t a suicide mission.”

“Every time you dive, there’s a chance you could die,” Gon said seriously. “It’s just a question of how much of a chance. Rand knew that when he came here.”

“It’s about 40 feet down, where does that put our odds?”

Gon’s eyes went blank. What did it mean? Killua hated Gon like this, he wasn’t reachable. Was he running the odds? Was he angry? Was Killua being paranoid? But every time he’d been paranoid, he’d been right. 

“That’s so far,” he said. “For your En.”

“I’m fine,” Killua told him. “I haven’t used any nen this whole trip, and I’ve been training.”

Gon seemed sad, but with that sadness came clarity. “We can use the anchor rope,” he said. “And attach the ship’s ballast. That will break the coral, then we’ll cut the ballast and haul ourselves up.”

***

The divers wanted to give Killua their share of the money, but Killua didn’t want it. 

“Can’t you just tell them to take it back?” he said. “They risked their lives, same as me.”

“They found out you’re a Hunter and they want to pay you a Hunter’s rate,” Gon said. “Just take it!”

“You’re a hunter, too,” Killua said. 

“Only technically,” Gon said. “Not in the real sense…. Don’t argue! I already accepted it a long time ago.”

Killua didn’t say anything. There was nothing he could say. “I don’t want their money,” he said, instead. “Tell them you gave me your share, as the leader they’ll accept that from you.” 

“Raul wants to give you something, Rand is his brother.“

“Fine,” Killua said, “Whatever. Just your money, and Raul’s. That’s it.” 

Gon beamed at him. “Thank you, Killua,” he said. 

“What are you thanking me for, idiot! We’re friends, friends don’t need thanks. Or payment. I did this as a favor, not a job. It feels weird to get paid…”

“Just accept it, Killua.” 

He’d been paid in his old job, as an assassin. At least this time he was being paid for saving a life. If he thought about it that way, he could almost square it. But to accept money from Gon, in particular,  
felt wrong. They were friends weren’t they? Gon had Killua’s back, so Killua had Gon’s back. They didn’t need money to track that. They didn’t need to be even. 

“Fine,” he said. “But listen. I’m taking your money, and buying you an airship ticket to Pomadoro. We’re going skydiving with Alluka.”

Gon lit up. “I’d like that,” he said, softly. 

FIN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [1]https://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/books/a-manual-for-cleaning-women-review-rediscovering-lucia-berlin/2015/08/26/8c333324-4b57-11e5-84df-923b3ef1a64b_story.html  
[2]https://hembrista.tumblr.com/post/186023232351/where-im-at-girls-i-just-got-lightheaded-from  
  
I just realized the first chapter ended with Killua and Alluka asking to go on a trip somewhere by the water... happy coincidence XD. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed reading that, I enjoyed writing it. Comments welcomed. And also.. read Lucia Berlin! :D


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